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Genesis

Genesis

In the beginning God came up with a new idea. So he found himself a shoebox and began his creation.

The First Day

God said, "Let there be light!" But for a long and embarrassing moment, perpetual darkness still persisted the box. God finally remembered that he forgot to turn on the light switch. So he did. And there was light. God saw that light was good. He wrote a note to himself that he should turn on the light occasionally so there would be night and day, morning and evening.

The Second Day

God said, "Let there be Sky and Earth!" So he lifted the lid of the box and he called the opening "Sky". He also poured some dirt into the box and called it "Earth". Meanwhile, he clumsily fell some dirt on the table and he called it "Not His Fault" and hoped his mom wouldn't find it out. And it was so.

The Third Day

God said, "Let there be Sea and Land!" So he poured some water into the box. And surely, it was a mistake. The water went through the bottom of the shoebox and made another big mess on the table. Anyhow, it created a small patch of mud-land on the Earth. God called it "Sea" and later amended it to be "Swamp".

God said, "Let the land produce vegetation!" And it was not so. No matter how hard he pleaded, his mom wouldn't allow him to put the fungus from the backyard into the shoebox. So he added some dry leaves instead. God still saw that as good.

The Fourth Day

God said, "Let there be ice-cream!" So he fetched a box of Haagen-Dazs ice-cream from the refrigerator and emptied half of it into the shoebox. God contemplated a moment. And saw it was not good. He hadn't created the creatures that would appreciate his ice-cream. So he finished the other half himself. God thought the ice-cream was good.

The Fifth Day

God said, "Let there be creatures!" So he added a spider and a small grasshopper into the box. The poor grasshopper was soon consumed by the spider. Then the spider was drowned in the disgusting liquid of melted ice-cream when he slipped off from the web he was weaving. It was obviously a disaster, so thought God himself.

The sixth day

God said, "Let there be mankind!" After hours of contemplation, God had not a single clue on how to fit a mankind into the shoebox. And so he compromised. At the time, two tiny ants crossed the floor he was standing, targeting for a left over biscuit. With a lightning catch, he picked up the two ill-fated creatures and dropped them into the shoebox. He pointed to the ant with a larger head and said, "I name you Adam." Then pointed at the other, "I name you Eve." And it was so.

The Seventh Day

God said, "Let…" Before he could finish, he heard his mom calling, "Joseph, stop playing with your shoebox or else…" So he rested. And it was so.

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